Picture this: You're at the pub after a long week of work. You've just paid your taxes, your fuel bill, your mortgage, your groceries. You're having a quiet beer, trying to stretch your dollar a bit further because everything costs more these days.

Then you read that a federal minister just charged you $1,000 to have a car wait for her while she watched tennis for seven hours. Or that she billed you $9,000 to fly her husband to three AFL Grand Finals. Or that she spent $100,000 of your money on a trip to New York.

Does that pass the pub test?

Hell no, it doesn't.

And yet, this is exactly what's happening. Right now. With your money. While politicians from both sides of politics lecture you about belt-tightening, cost-of-living pressures, and doing your bit.

Let's start with the latest poster child for political entitlement: Anika Wells, Labor's Communications & Sports Minister.

Here's what she's charged Australian taxpayers for:

AFL Grand Finals (Three Years Running)

The New York Junket

The Tennis Wait

Formula 1 Grand Prix

Boxing Day Tests

And here's the kicker: It's all within the rules.

That's not a defence. That's an indictment of the system.

Before we even get to the expenses, let's talk about what these people are already paid.

As of July 2024, the base salary for a federal MP is $233,660 per year. That's more than four times the median Australian income.

Anthony Albanese, as Prime Minister, takes home $607,471 a year.

Peter Dutton and now Sussan Ley Opposition Leader, receive $432,239.

Ministers get even more on top of the base salary. And that's before we talk about superannuation, staff allowances, travel entitlements, and all the other perks.

For context, the average Australian worker earns around $60,000 a year. A tradie might pull $80-90k if they're doing well. A nurse, a teacher, a small business owner - they're all working their arses off for a fraction of what a backbench MP gets just for showing up.

And it's still not enough for them.

Let's be crystal clear: Labor and Liberal Nationals, Greens and the rest are feeding at the trough.

Peter Dutton has repeatedly charged taxpayers for flights that coincided with exclusive Liberal Party fundraisers. Taxpayer-funded travel to private political events. You paid for him to raise money for his party.

Bronwyn Bishop, the Liberal Speaker, became the face of political entitlement when she charged taxpayers $5,000 for a helicopter ride from Melbourne to Geelong for a Liberal Party fundraiser. A 100km trip. By helicopter. On your dime.

She eventually resigned, but not before it was revealed she'd also charged taxpayers to attend three weddings and a funeral, racking up $14,000 in repaid expenses.

Five Coalition senators claimed travel expenses - flights, accommodation, car hire - to attend the 2024 Australian Conservative Political Action Conference. Political activism funded by taxpayers.

Victorian MPs have charged taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars for overseas travel for "electorate business." Funny how electorate business always seems to involve business class flights to Europe.

This isn't a Labor problem or a Liberal problem. It's a political class problem.

Think it ends when they leave office? Think again.

Former prime ministers racked up $1.6 million in expenses in a single year. Office space, staff, travel - all funded by you, long after they've left the job.

Politicians who served under the old pension scheme receive six-figure pensions for life. Some retired MPs are pulling in $220,000 per year in pension payouts - nearly six times the $40,000 Age Pension that ordinary Australians receive.

Scrapping these gold-plated pensions would save taxpayers $350 million. But good luck getting politicians to vote away their own perks.

The loophole for retiring politicians' entitlements is set to cost taxpayers nearly $1 billion. That's billion. With a B.

Let's bring this back to the pub test. You know, that simple question: Would this fly if you told your mates down at the pub?

Imagine telling your mates:

What would they say?

They'd call you a bludger. They'd say you were taking the piss. They'd question whether you should still have a job.

But when politicians do it? It's within the rules.

That phrase - "within the rules" - is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Because here's the thing: These arrogant dipshit Politicians wrote the rules. They set their own salaries. They determine their own entitlements. They decide what's reasonable and what's not.

And surprise, surprise, they've been very generous to themselves.

When Anika Wells was confronted about her expenses, the response was that it was all approved and within entitlements. The Prime Minister's office signed off on it of course he did Airbus Albo is the poster boy for these scams.

That's not a defence. That's the problem.

The rules are broken. The system is rigged. And the people benefiting from it are the same people who have the power to change it.

Guess how motivated they are to do that?

Here's what makes this even more insulting: We're in a cost-of-living crisis.

Australians are struggling to pay rent, mortgages, groceries, fuel. Families are making tough choices about whether they can afford to turn on the air con or heater or buy fresh vegetables.

And while everyday Australians are tightening their belts, politicians are:

The disconnect is staggering these people are repulsive.

These are the same people who tell us to be responsible with money. To live within our means. To make sacrifices for the greater good.

Do as I say, not as I do. Rules for thee, but not for me.

Want to know the worst part? We don't even know the full extent of it.

A botched system upgrade has created a backlog of parliamentary expense claims that won't be made public until later this year. Transparency in limbo. Convenient, isn't it?

When the data does come out, it's often months old, buried in PDFs, and difficult to search. By the time the public finds out about dodgy expenses, the news cycle has moved on.

That's not an accident its by design.

Politicians don't want scrutiny. They don't want accountability. They want to keep the gravy train rolling while the rest of us pay for the tickets.

This isn't complicated. Here's what needs to happen:

1. Slash the Entitlements If you want to go to a sporting event, buy your own ticket. If you want your spouse to join you, pay for their flight. If you want a car to wait for seven hours, hire an Uber on your own dime.

2. Real-Time Transparency Every expense claim should be published online within 48 hours. No delays. No backlogs. Full transparency, immediately.

3. Independent Oversight Politicians shouldn't be setting their own rules. An independent body - with real teeth - should determine what's reasonable and what's not.

4. End the Retirement Rorts No more six-figure pensions. No more million-dollar expense accounts for former PMs. You leave office, you're done feeding at the trough.

5. Actual Consequences If you abuse the system, you should lose your entitlements. Not just repay the money - lose the privilege entirely. And face the voters with that on your record.

This is about more than expenses. It's about who serves who.

Politicians are supposed to be public servants. The clue is in the name: servants. They work for us. They're paid by us. They're accountable to us.

But somewhere along the way, they forgot that. They see themselves as a special class. An elite class. Entitled to perks and privileges that ordinary Australians could never dream of.

That bullshit needs to stop.

Self-determination means refusing to accept a system where the political class lives large while the rest of us struggle. It means demanding accountability, transparency, and consequences.

It means saying, loudly and clearly: This doesn't pass the pub test, and we're not putting up with it anymore.

Anika Wells. Peter Dutton. Bronwyn Bishop. Labor. Liberal. State. Federal. Current. Former.

They're all at it.

They're all taking the piss. They're all living large on your dime. And they're all hiding behind "the rules" - rules they wrote for themselves.

The base salary is already obscene. The entitlements are outrageous. The retirement perks are indefensible. And the arrogance - the sheer, unfiltered arrogance of thinking this is acceptable - is insulting to every Australian who pays taxes and plays by the rules.

Does it pass the pub test?

Not even close.

And until we demand better - until we hold these people accountable and force them to live in the same reality as the rest of us - nothing will change.

Your taxes paid for a $1,000 car to wait for seven hours. Your taxes paid for $9,000 in footy trips. Your taxes paid for a $100,000 junket to New York.

Are you okay with that?

Because I'm bloody not.